Wood Tumblr Themes

*hears noises at night*:  well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life
*gets shampoo in my eyes*:  I guess I'm blind now how am I ever going to see my first born child
*heart is beating fast*:  I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is
*a cop walks by*:  here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone
*taking a test*:  don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school and amount to nothing
*gets a sunburn*:  great now I have skin cancer how will I tell my parents
*tripping over something*:  I guess my leg will have to be amputated why did this happen to me
*period is late*:  shit i'm pregnant i'm the next virgin mary


i love how no matter how badly you fuck up benadryl cumquat’s name everyone on here still knows who ur talking about


a little horny
a little ok
a little dead inside